A psycho-to-psycho chat
by PilsenPiloswine
Summary: College AU in which Aomine mess up with Hnamiya and is forced to seek help from his friend Akashi. Too bad he doesn't know how to properly do it.


**A/N: This is based off a generated messenger chat I did for Kuroko no Basket Amino**

* * *

It was a Thursday morning, Akash was sitting in a cafè, sipping at his hot drink and working on the laptop for his final essay in Finance when a friendly and at the same time unwelcomed voice yelling his name almost made him spill the drink on the computer. He turned around on his chair glaring at Aomine who entered the coffee bar directing dozens of hateful attentions towards him.

The ex-former Too Ace sat in front of Akashi, patting his shoulder "Hey man, how are you doing?"

Akashi stoically stared at him "Honestly, I was just fine up to twenty seconds ago. You should watch your manners in public Daiki."

Aomine stopped listening after the first word, he slammed his palms down on the coffee table, but this time, Akashi promptly grabbed the hot drink cup before anything could happen.

"You have to help me"

Affirmed Aomine, staring straight into his ex-teammate's eyes. Akashi rolled his eyes, it wasn't like he wouldn't have helped his friend, he was just finding it hard to stand his manners at the moment. He resumed writing his essay, he would bet his properties it was for a girl again. Last time Aomine asked for help it was because his current date found out the tons of Mai-chan issues under the bed. The girl was in the same Statistics class as Akashi, who then needed to persuade her that all those magazines belong to Aomine's old flat mate. When it came to speech, no one was better than Akashi Seijuro.

"Daiki, I told you. If you don't want your dates to find out your erotic magazines collection, hide them better. I can't spend my academic life as a marriage counselor, I would have chosen Psychology instead of Finance"

The other sat up from his chair, peeping up from the back of Akashi's desktop with the creepiest puppy-eyes ever.

"This is serious"

He then paused "Please?"

Akashi snorted, shutting his laptop screen closed. The sooner he heard him, the quicker he could resume his college work.

"Fine, what problem is it?"

Aomine's lips curved into a satisfied smile which irritated Akashi to the core, for a second he wondered if the light wood bar used to mux coffee would be enough to stab him.

"You know, I am kinda broke right? Rent, tuition fees, books…"

" _That are never going to be used_ " thought Akashi, but he opted not to tease him more, otherwise they were never getting to the point

"Do you want me to borrow some money?"

Aomine shook his head

"Nothing of the like, I found my own ways"

Akashi cringed at it, when Daiki took inventive it was never a good sign, he was starting to get concerned at this point.

"Two days ago, me, Kagami and Kise placed a bet: fifty bucks for who displayed to be the bravest"

"You are broke yet you go around placing bets like nothing?" scolded Akashi, promising to himself he would study at home onward.

Aomine brushed the lecture off as he continued with his tale

"Well: Kise accidentally spilled a drink over his shirt in a club full of half drunk and horny fangirls who almost eat him alive while Kagami jumped inside a dog's fence while eating a hamburger with the same result"

Akashi sighed, literally face-palming himself. He knew what he heard was just an appetizer and he wasn't sure to be ready to listen what was coming, so he tried to guess.

"Look, if you brought a bee-hive in your apartment I'll call the Animal Protection Agency!"

Aomine snickered " _Bees_! I'm not for sugar-coated challenges, if I fight I do it the extreme way!"

At this statement, Akashi laid the cup of coffee on the table, he wasn't sure he could trust his body not twitch in rage for what Daiki was about to tell.

"So, what did you do?" he asked impatiently

"Do you remember that creepy guy from Kirisaki, right? Hanamiya Makoto."

" _Oh my god"_

Pretending he didn't notice Akashi's shocked face, Aomine kept on telling his tale just like he was chatting about the last NBA results

"Well, turned out he studies Medicine, the department in which I am doing student job with the computer technicians. He came to the office last Friday with an USB pen containing a power point presentation of the results of some research he did abroad and he was supposed to discuss in public on Monday, in the central Hall."

Akashi nodded

"Now, the policy of the University is that when a presentation has to be made, the author needs to provide the file in advance, upload it in the computer where he is supposed to display it and check if everything is working. Case wanted I was on duty las Friday and this week also, so I had full access to his presentation."

"You didn't delete it, didn't you?"

"No, I did better! I changed all those creepy bones image and those boring tables with famous serial killers meme pictures and funny puppy videos! You should have seen his face!"

Akashi's eyes went wide

"You did what? Are you conscious of the fact you seriously damaged a person's career for fifty bucks?"

Aomine rose his palms trying to find a justification

"Calm down man, he damaged Teppei's knee for life back in high school, take this as a Karma sign!"

This statement made him obtain a sharper glare from his ex-teammate

"This is not a sufficient justification, Daiki. What you did is serious, you know you can be sued for this?"

Again, and this time rather unexpectedly, Aomine brushed it off "I took responsibility. My manager caught me and I was forced to make everyone my apologies… and I lost my part-time job"

Akashi didn't know what to think anymore, despite his efforts he couldn't grab his friend's logic. Maybe because there was none. It took him few moments to digest the mass of unwanted news and gain his composure back.

"I am not helping you to get your part-time job back. You messed up badly and need to take responsibility for that"

"I don't want my part time job back."

"So what do you want from me?"

Aomine pushed his head forward, a few inches from Akashi's face who retreated back

"Well, after I told everyone what I did, creepy-miya became aware of it. Before leaving the room he whispered to me that I should watch my steps because Tokyo is a frenetic and dangerous city…He is planning to kill me!"

"And I wonder why."

Aomine grabbed both Akshi's shoulders driving more unrequired attention from the other customers "Come on man! I've been fired, isn't it enough? I paid my debts there's no reason for me to die! You said it yourself that past wrong actions aren't a justification for someone else to hurt us"

Akashi was stunned, did that brat just turned his own words against him.

"I am sorry Daiki, I would help you I just don't know how"

Sighed Akshi, getting free of Daiki's grip

"Use your father, isn't he like the boss of the FBI? Tell him you got a serial killer in the making!"

"My father has nothing to share with the FBI and even if it was, they don't act for stupid college students quarrels!"

He paused trying to collect a logical advice

"Look, Hanamiyia must be mad at you, I get it, but he is an intelligent, grown man now. After what happened I highly doubt he would go as far as physically hurt you for this. Even though I would be tempted as well."

A glimpse of excitement enlightened into Aomine's eyes, he pointed both his fingers at Akashi

"That's where I wanted you!"

"What's with the excitement?"

Useless to say, the emperor's question went unnoticed

"You and Hanamiya are similar, I think he would give more credit to your words rather than mine."

"How are we similar?"

"You are basically soulmates, he is intelligent, you are intelligent. He breaks bones, you stab people"

At this point Akashi was sure someone was going to call the police while Aomine kept on with his improbable speech.

"Could you talk with him, like a _psycho-to-psycho_ chat?"

Akashi stared at him, horrified

"A psycho-to-psycho chat?"

"Don't get me wrong, I respect you but you can't deny that you might have some psychopathic traits"

"Daiki, you don't even know the meaning of the world _psychopathic_ "

"Whatever, you got me"

A waiter approached the duo, asking them to lower their voice. Akashi had never been more embarrassed. Aomine didn't seem to be bothered though. He leant forward, almost whispering

"Please man, I've been finding him standing in front of my apartment with that creepy smile of his… I had to sneak into Kagami's apartment to hide!"

"Okay then, let's recap this whole thing: for some money you decide to go on an idiot bet instead of keeping a job like every brain-equipped being would, destroy a man's hard work with a prank, then proceeded to violate someone else's property to hide and now you are asking for me to talk in your stance because you are too immature to take responsibility for your actions."

"Exactly"

"What a waste of fifty bucks"

"Are you going to help me?"

"Would you leave me alone if I do?"

Aomine nodded

"Okay, I'll try to have a talk with him, just don't come around me for a considerable long time."

Aomine patted (or rather, _slapped_ ) Akashi's shoulder, he was now grinning

"Thank you, man! You are the best friend one could have!"

"Yes, whatever now let me finish my job"

Aomine walked out of the coffee bar whistling in happiness.

When he was sure his mate was out of sight, Akashi opened his browser and connected to Facebook, finding Hanamiya's profile wasn't too hard. He noticed his status was settled as _online_ so he opened a conversation window.

He told Daiki he was going to talk with the ex-Kirisaki captain, however he never specified in which terms though.

" _Good morning, Hanamiya Makoto. I am Akashi Seijuro, ex-Rakuzan captain. I hope you are doing fine"_

He typed.

The reply came few seconds later

" _Hi, no need for introduction, I know who you are and I can imagine what you want from me. That shitty brat of your friend screwed up a six months work and I am not going to pass over this. I am not going to hurt him though, too many potential witnesses."_

Akashi smiled at this message as he typed his reply

" _I knew you were better than expected. However, I am not here to dissuade you from whatever your final purpose is. I am just informing you that it's pointless to wait for him under his apartment, he's currently staying at Kagami Taiga's, I'll send you the coordinates in few moments."_

Three grey dots appeared at the bottom of the white screen, before Hnamyia replied

" _Why are you helping me? What exactly do you want from me?"_

Akashi snickered

" _He went way too far this time. I am just asking you if you can send me pictures or videos of whatever you are planning to do with him. I really want to have some fun. If it's money that you want, I can pay well for that material"_

The reply took a bit more time to come this time

" _I guess I am supposed to be flattered, now you are into this as much as I am so don't try to stab me behind my back"_

" _I am a man of honor. If I have to stab people, I do it face to face"_

" _Let me tell you, you are actually cool. It's a shame we never interacted before:"_

Akashi smiled happily, feeling satisfied with his doings. Later Hnamiya revealed he just wanted to play creepy pranks on the ex-Too ace, just for the enjoyment of seeing his face scared shitless and the ex-Rakuzan captain couldn't be happier to share this precious moments for fun.

* * *

A couple of days later, Akashi got a text message from a rather upset Aomine

" _Kagami kicked me out because Hanamiya found out I was staying there! What the fuck did you do?"_

Akashi smiled, typing his response back

" _I just followed your advice having a pleasant psycho-to-psycho chat with him. Have a safe day Daiki."_


End file.
